The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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