Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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