**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
