ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize