when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
