That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
