I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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