Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
