He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize