How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
