i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
