Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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