Having a random hookup so left but love u
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
