Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
