You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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