I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
