this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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