Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
