just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
