hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
