hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
