Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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