Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize