I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im holly from the hills drunk
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
