We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
