literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just pee around me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
