I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
