yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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