No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
