lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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