woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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