He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
