So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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