You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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