I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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