it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
