oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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