should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
