I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
