Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize