Pappa wants mamma naked
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
