I wish I could punch you in the face.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
