Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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