i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
