yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
