Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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