That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize