OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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