you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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