Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize