P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
