idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
