you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
