We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
