I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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