Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
