there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
