hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize