I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
